The birth of a second castle
by frapachinocrazy4
Summary: With all the unprotected 'goings ons' in the organizaton, you'd think at least once someone would have a kid or two...or 30. Involves alot of the KH characters and their kids. Somewhat Cracky and somewhat squishy. rated for Alcohol ref and some language.
1. Sammich

LOLWUT? ahaha. I'm pretty sure this is cracky. tell me what you think.

slight Axel/Riku.

KH2 belongs to squeenix and disney. :

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The birth of the second castle

-Sammich-

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Axel groaned as he lay snuggled up next to Riku, his stomach gurgling miserably, "Rikuuuuu, I'm hungry. Make me a sammich."

Riku didn't budge.

"Pleeease Riku? I'm sooo hungry. Like, you have no idea."

Riku gave a short grunt and forced the covers over his head, removing himself from the redheads grip.

This, of course, only egged the man on, "But why not, Riku? I'm really really really hungry! And you _know_ I can't do it… Come ooon." He began to shake the boy's shoulders gently, "You got to eat, but I didn't and that's not fair! Please?"

Axel had to wait a moment before getting a gargled reply as the kid finally removed himself out of bed entirely and stood not so steadily before the bothersome lump. He was tired of this. Night after night the man hounded him about it, like it was _his_ fault the idiot hadnt eaten. He glared at the now receding face as he grabbed up a blanket and walked from the room, Axel looking curiously after. He hadnt thought Riku would actually do it! But what was with the blanket? Maybe Riku was cold…

It had been a while since Riku left, in which Axel was sure, was sandwich making time. It was going to be good if he was spending this much time on it and he was nearly beaming as the silver haired boy came back into the room.

"Well?" Axel inquired, searching for the sandwich but only finding a bundle curled up in the boy's arms, "where's my sammich?"

His smile fell. Riku didn't have the food. Maybe he'd forgotten? Or maybe he'd confused it with something else? He didn't know, but what he did know is that he was hungry and he was hungry now.

"Um Riku," he tried sounding pleasant, "not to nit pick or anything but I think I clearly stated that I wanted a sammich not some stupid…" Riku almost shoved the bunch into Axel's face filling his mouth with bits of fuzzy blanket debris. He spit, and held the warm thing in his arms, its discomfort in being jerked so suddenly obvious. He looked to Riku, who still didn't look like he was all too awake yet and shrugged, "So? I wanted a sammich not _her._" Riku just stared back, his eyes slits and his mouth hitched in a pissed frown.

Axel wasn't getting it. This wasn't a sandwich. In fact, this wasn't even edible as far as he knew. He furrowed his brow, "Riku, this isn't my sammich…It's the baby…I don't think cannibalism is really my thing, so um, unless you want to make me a sammich-"

Riku's stare darkened as he turned swiftly and began to crawl back into bed snidely replying, "I don't know what you're talking about Axel… That is your 'Sammich.' You did name her after all…" Axel looked down at the bundle and frowned. Dammit he was right. "That wasn't what I meant…" he grumbled, crawling back under the covers with the baby tight in his grip. His stomach gave another groan as suddenly he was regretting naming the kid after his favorite food.

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ohmygosh. me and my friend decided that Riku and Axel is HOT. so, then came the birth of Sammich, their baby. I was thinking, it gets really annoying with all of the fused names we've drawn and such, so we did this and a few others. I'm starting a little story with them where there's a place for them in the castle. Because unprotected sex kiddies doesnt save you from babies, even if its two guys. and btw, we dont technically beleive in MPReg so... : dont question it huns. Sleepy riku WOULD be scary.


	2. Snap dragon

I wonder about this one. His naaame. Dearlord.

This one is more Marly and Zexion. A very crack pairing. Lol. This gets less weird after the intros. Some of them were not introducing because their typical. It's just the first two…eh….not so much. And although I am saying 'we' this is only written by one person.

KH2 belongs to squeenix and Disney. :D

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The birth of the second castle

-Snap dragon-

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The day in castle oblivion had been everything but loud. In fact, half the members were already dead and the ones who weren't were either bothering Sora or watching Riku carefully from afar in the basements.

Take for example Marluxia who was currently patrolling the nether regions of the castle. He'd taken quite a liking to this so called 'strolling' and found it almost exciting whilst the Keyblade master explored another gate. Larxene had warned him not to, that it was nothing but trouble, but the flower lover couldn't help it. Sometimes screwing with a hero's life just got so boring and he needed a little pick me up now and then.

Besides, if he'd heard right, then the lower keepers were keeping Riku from being so outlandish, in which the pink haired man was very curious. If they could get Riku to do it, then maybe he could get pointers? Although of course he'd never admit that's what he was really doing.

Anyway, it was at that moment, as he moved about the dungeons, that he met the keeper and seemingly only lower member left, Zexion. It was an odd meeting. In fact, if it hadnt been for his uncanny ways of spewing flowers every place he went, he was sure the kid wouldn't even have seen him.

Zexion, disturbed by the not so sudden appearance of XI, layed his book delicately on his leg, still open, and removed his glasses. "Hello, XI. May I help you?" The assassin smirked and flicked a piece of hair from his eyes, "oh nothing VI." He emphasized on his superiors number and glanced around, "I was just wondering what was down here. Not much is there…"

Zexion sighed obviously uninterested in small talk, "if you're just here to down talk me XI, then may I ask you leave. I have other, more important things I could be doing right now and it would seem you're wasting my time."

Marluxia was taken aback. He didn't know anyone in the undercroft of the place had backbone. Vexen certainly hadnt and he'd almost given everything away. It was a good thing Axel was so loyal. He simply smiled though, not letting on that Zexion's words had flustered him at all.

"I don't know what you're talking about, VI. I was really just curious." He paused; giving enough time to let his words sit then spoke again, "so I see you're the last member to control that feral boy. It must be difficult to handle such a project then. I mean, I don't know how you do it."

Zexion, who'd seriously thought Marluxia had left, looked over his book, his eyes peering above his glasses, "oh, you're still here…" he paused, setting his book aside realizing that this might be more of a conversation than he first assumed. He inhaled, "I will admit that Riku can indeed be a handful at times and handling him alone is probably biting off more than I can chew, but it does help to let on that you haven't told him everything. Then again, this is Riku, not Sora. I'm sure you're actually more curious about him."

He paused; overcome with the smell of Marluxia's lament and began again, lowering his tone back down to a common subtleness, "So, if I were you, I'd bait him with any information on his friends and maybe even let on about Riku's current whereabouts. I mean, if that doesn't get the key bearers blood pumping, then I really doubt you have any kind of a chance, not that I thought you did anyway."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow at the schemer. He really wished now that he hadnt come down here. Zexion was an incredibly snide individual; very callous with his words and the man liked it. He was so very cold. Marluxia broke into a sharky grin and he took a step forward.

"Well, XI, now that you've gotten out of me what you wanted, could you please go. For one thing your floral scent is overpowering me, and as I said before, I'm a very busy being and I _must_ return to this book…"

The pink haired man dared to take another step forward but nodded curtly instead, turning heal and heading for the door, "fine then VI. But I would think it'd be a very lonely existence down here alone. Must be depressing realizing that the basement breed will be the first to go…" And Marluxia stepped back and out the door, leaving the man alone with his book.

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If there was an award for persistence, then it was assured that Marluxia was to get that very prize. In fact, in the next few days he returned to the basement several times either to irritate the purple haired man or to question the ethics of his lifestyle. Both of which he enjoyed very much. This kid was so much more entertaining than the keyblader's and Marluxia even began to consider that indeed the basement wasn't all that bad. Maybe with a little sprucing it could be a really nice place. Although, Zexion naturally didn't agree. He probably didn't look up long enough from his stupid books to even notice his surroundings.

In truth that fact irked the man. He almost never looked up now. Ever since Marly made it his chore to have open conversations as obviously neither did all that often, Zexion had stopped trying to put his book down and sometimes he did wonder if the kid even heard him.

It was then, as Marluxia started down the long hallways back to his side of the castle that he got an idea. If the schemer wasn't going to have a two sided conversation then the pink haired man would add fuel to the fire. He grinned planning his next visit meticulously.

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He doubted the boy drank all that often, mostly because he always had some kind of weird smelling tea sitting next to him when they visited. He did drink it a lot though, enough to get some thing out of it. But the cup was so very tiny…

He frowned. If this was going to work, he'd need something strong and probably something that didn't smell. He had noticed the schemers power and he probably wouldn't drink if he knew his tea was tampered with. Marluxia spent the night thinking then suddenly he remembered number XII's stash. She'd told him all about it once, which ones were strong, which ones were obvious and vise versa. This was almost too perfect. It was then that the assassin couldn't help but thank god for Larxene and her alcohol.

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As soon as the schemer woke up the next morning, he knew something was off. Usually Marly was already here waiting, as if he'd stayed up all night. But today he was nowhere to be seen. A stale scent could be found in the kitchen, making the boy wonder a bit, but all the recent ones were gone. He frowned as he started his morning routine; brushing his hair, dressing and starting for the kitchen where he would make his tea. He loved that part. The smell of tea filling the- he paused as he walked into the kitchen. His cup was already made fresh and steamy, obviously done a short while ago. This would of course explain the scent in the kitchen but why? Was this a way of XI showing affection? He lifted the cup and smelled the tea carefully making sure nothing was contaminated before he took a sip.

He paused, letting the taste hit him before he actually swallowed. It was exceptionally good. Maybe Marly did it because he knew he liked tea. The schemer almost smiled and he took another sip. It really was good!

Sip after sip, Zexion finished his first, second and third cup before Marluxia finally arrived looking rather pleased at the wobbly gait of the schemer. Maybe now he could have the conversation he wanted…

"Hello, Marluxia." He looked a little embarrassed, "thanks for the tea. I had no idea you were so good at doing things like that." He paused and turned slowly, "I'm going to go get you a cup. It's really good…"

Marluxia almost turned away the offer, but thought against it. It wouldn't hurt to have one or two. He followed the kid into the kitchen and watched quietly as he poured two cups. He grinned, "How many have you had, VI?" Zexion, who was already sipping at his, eyed him over the cup and set it aside, "this would be my fourth I believe…why?" Marluxia took a sip of his, "no reason… It _is_ good isn't it?"

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Two teapots later and after both members were completely smashed Marluxia was found lying beside Zexion in his big comfy chair their lips locked in a deep kiss. Neither was really sure how this had started, but as Marly broke away he felt proud. All he had really wanted was more of a conversation, he hadnt expected this. All the same, he wasn't about to complain as he kissed the eager kid once more.

"Damn," the assassin breathed, breaking away once more, "I had no idea…I think you need to be drunk more often. I really really like this side of you, VI."

Zexion growled as he pulled Marluxia into another kiss, "shuddup."

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Snap nervously swallowed, his head bowed just enough to be able to still see his dumfounded classmates minus one pretty tomboy in the back who flashed him a thumbs-up sign. He hated the 'meet the parents' day because his mom always had to tell that same stupid story and embarrass him to no end. Stupid parents, stupid class, stupid…

"And that, kids, is how our little baby Snap dragon here came to be. I named him of course. Isn't that the cutest though? Snap dragon. He reminds me of his daddy." Zexion grunted as Marly proceeded to elbow him in the side, "yup, just like him… Well, we've gotta run. The castle isn't going to clean itself you know. Bye Snappy." And with that Marluxia and Zexion disappeared into a cloud of blackness.

Snap rubbed his forehead as he gave a quick glance to his teacher who nodded for him to sit. She also seemed to be quite scared. In fact, if anything, she was probably regretting ever making a 'meet the parents' day. _Good, _Snap thought taking his seat next to Sammich in the back who proceeded to clap him on the back, _maybe next time I won't have to do it._

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Okay wow. this one was actually kind of hard. I sort of got writers block at the end. D: Um I guess all I can say is this was fun. its also the most RANDOM pairing ever. We got it when me and my friend were drawing pairings on a napkin and well. hm. this one has less crack, and its a bit more squishy, but I thought the end was my favorite part. I feel so bad for Snap. for one thing, HIS NAME. hojesus. Also, I believe this might be the last introductory one. The other chacracters are going to be ones that I am sure you have heard of. and yes, if you havent noticed, this IS a crackfic. its a simiserious one anyway. : so just have fun with it.


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